Reverence for Relations Involving
Birth and Death
Two of the
most controversial issues in contemporary society center on how our loyalty to
life extends to those not yet born and those near death. Since we do not have a
consensus as to whether the unborn are members of the human community, I
concede that the question ought not to be answered by the state but rather by
the woman who bears the pre-natal life. But moral awareness and reverence for
relations ought to extend to all living humans including the unborn. This
cannot be achieved by trying to make abortion illegal, but by creating
conditions that favor choosing life.
Currently our political ideologies spew out a tangle of contradictory notions that lead to an appalling deficit of reverence for life and the relationships that sustain life. Liberals sometimes seem to have little or no concern for life before birth; conservatives who parade under the “pro-life” banner often care little for poor children once they are born. Many, who would ban abortion, simultaneously strive to block policies that would assure that all pregnant women have access to pre-natal, post-natal and pediatric care. Besides medical care, a child needs a decent place to live and an education that empowers him or her to be self-reliant, law-abiding and able to contribute to the community. To achieve all of this would not be impossible, but very expensive, and therefore highly improbable. We so far have not exercised the political will to pay the price for a truly pro-life society.
Currently our political ideologies spew out a tangle of contradictory notions that lead to an appalling deficit of reverence for life and the relationships that sustain life. Liberals sometimes seem to have little or no concern for life before birth; conservatives who parade under the “pro-life” banner often care little for poor children once they are born. Many, who would ban abortion, simultaneously strive to block policies that would assure that all pregnant women have access to pre-natal, post-natal and pediatric care. Besides medical care, a child needs a decent place to live and an education that empowers him or her to be self-reliant, law-abiding and able to contribute to the community. To achieve all of this would not be impossible, but very expensive, and therefore highly improbable. We so far have not exercised the political will to pay the price for a truly pro-life society.
Just as we
need to improve our reverence for our relations with the unborn, we have a lot
of room for improvement with those who are near death and dying. We may easily
forget that we ourselves were once unborn, but only with a super effort of
denial can we forget that most of us will someday be among the dying. We can be
exempted from the class of dying people only if our death comes very suddenly.
Besides ourselves, nearly all of us face the dying of those whom we love and
feel deeply connected to. Our loyalty belongs not only to the web of human life,
as in the case of the unborn, but also to whatever relations we had with the
dying, especially family and friends. But what of those who die alone with no
family and friends. They were once connected to us by a common geography, or by
citizenship, or at least as fellow human beings. We and they did not tend these
relationships very well. Yet, when we hear of a person dying alone, we ought to
remember the words of poet John Donne, “Send not to know for whom the bell tolls;
it tolls for thee.” If Donne has it right, we are all connected; what we lack
is awareness.
For those dying persons to whom we
have the duty that comes with conscious relationships we can connect to them
ethically, neither denying their death by needlessly prolonging it, nor by
hustling them along. Reverence for
relations requires us to act supportively toward the terminally ill as they
pass through the stages of natural dying with as much love and comfort as
possible. And while most of us have neither the resources nor the ability to be
there for those who die alone, we can provide support for those who can help
them.
